hello. its me.
“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”
The last time I posted on this blog I was living through one of the most eye opening experiences I have ever been through (but I did not know this at the time). I was making amazing memories, some I will always look back on for the rest of my life. But as October came to an end my ideals of how I wanted to be spending my time in college completely flipped. I struggled a lot with balancing school work, my spirituality/staying grounded, and the social demands that I had roped myself into.
The gist of last semester was that I stretched myself way too thin and was neglecting my intuition. I was letting other people dictate my life and while I thought the kind of college experience I was living was what I wanted, it completely and utterly drained me by the end of the semester.
I ended that semester on a really shitty note to be honest. A week before finals I made a lot of big life changes and was forced into a lot of different situations, all of which turned out to be for the better.
Over winter break I was able to take a trip to California. I spent a week in San Diego, a few days in LA, and in between took a completely solo day trip to one of my favorite places in the world. This little island, an hour and a half ferry ride from San Pedro led me to one of my favorite days on this trip. I fell in love with Catalina Island 3 ish years ago when I went for the first time with some family. There isn’t much to do on Catalina, but I think that’s one of the things I love so much about it. It’s kind of like it's own little world. There’s only a handful of cars on the island, everyone knows each other, and one of the island’s main missions is preserving nature and it's animal friends in the most gentle and humane ways. Catalina has such a light and loving energy that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to find again in a place. Being immersed in nature will always bring me to my happiest state of mind, and I’m forever thankful to have been able to visit Catalina during a period in my life where I was going through an immensely large transition.
As I was returning back to school for this current semester, I was really struggling with how I was going to be able to remain grounded in my spirituality and intuition, which has given me so guidance in my life. I had been sheltered from mean girls and peer pressure for most of my life, but now I was living in an environment where both those things exist. It was really overwhelming for me to begin to think about how I was going to work through living in that kind of uncontrolled environment and how I was going to focus on the things that mattered. I know I’m not alone in this kind of feeling, and being overwhelmed and scared for the future is a universally felt thing. I want to dedicate this blog post to some thoughts that arose on my most recent trip in Europe. It was yet another moment in time where I was able to reflect and deep think on this life I’m living.
I know I’m not alone in this kind of feeling, and being overwhelmed and scared for the future is a universally felt thing. I want to dedicate this blog post to some really important thoughts that arose for me while travelling to Europe a few weeks ago. Being trapped on a plane 40,000 feet up in the air for 8 hours straight offers you a special kind of reflection time. Indulge in these thoughts and offer yourself kindness if you’re like me and still trying to figure things out right now.
Here are some things I’ve implemented into my life this past semester that are helping me remain grounded in foreign situations:
Please Take Time To Be Alone:
This was one thing that really saved me last semester. I wasn’t alone for the majority of the day, I was either at work, in class, or in my room with friends. But I always found a moment in my day to have a few breaths spent alone. Even if it meant walking to Target at 11:30 at night, my little escape was a few minutes spent alone each day.
Please Don’t Abandon Your Hobbies:
I underestimated just how busy I would be in college, especially since I ended up working 25-30 hours a week. However, on my own end I wasn’t reserving the small amount of free time I had to spending it doing the things I loved most. Practicing yoga/meditation, both of those things were a huge part of my daily life back home and somehow I had abandoned them in the lifestyle I was living. This semester I was able to get a membership to now one of the most grounding places in my life at the moment. I owe a lot to the studio that I practice yoga at, the dedication and quality of the teachers is something I have never found before. I made a vow to myself that the moment I step into the studio I forget about any external situations going on in my life. I almost enter into a little escape of sorts that gives me the time to reset my mind.
Please Don’t Bottle Things Up:
It’s so important to be there for yourself but even just as vital to have a person or people in your life who you can lean on during happy or trying times. Friends, family, a professor- you cannot lead a healthy life in complete isolation. In addition to having a person, I am a full believer in journaling. Even if it's just a few minutes of typing out your thoughts on your phone notes, you’d be surprised how healing it is to release your thoughts onto a piece of paper. It also aids in making sense of your thoughts, which is something you can always benefit from regardless of the content.
Please Protect Your Energy:
You do not have to be friends with someone if they are no longer serving you. You can change your mind about a person. You can evolve past someone and still wish them well. The people you have in your life are always going to reflect unto yourself and your own energy- protect that energy with all your being.
Please Listen To Your Intuition:
Possibly the entire moral of this blog post and of my past semester. Part of why I drifted away from myself so much was because I stopped listening to my intuition, a part of myself I used to be so deeply connected to. I’m currently repairing that relationship, but it would have been so much more ideal if I had never stopped listening to it in the first place. Just listen to yourself, listen to what your heart is leading you too and no matter if it's not what other people are doing, please stick to that gut feeling (it is your superpower).
All my love,
ps: some photos + quotes that have been resinating w me lately…..