its not all sunshine + rainbows, but a good amount of it actually is
be a lover. choose love. give love.
This summer I finally learned what it meant to let go. I let go of a lot of expectations and binds I think I held onto for way too long. All stemming back to high school, even though I had left my school after freshman year, I still never fully emotionally disconnected myself from the place, the people, and the energy it held. Half way through this summer, after life had seemed to settle in a bit post graduation, I realized I still held a lot of negativity in my heart from my experience. It was the first place where I felt crippling anxiety and even after I physically removed myself from that space, it still clung to me. I think the first time I felt this change or realized it initially was when I saw someone from my old school, we all have those people who we feel obligated to say hi or smile at when we see them in public but at the end it's always just awkward- for the first time I went to go engage in that basically meaningless action and then I stopped myself. Mid thought I realized that I don’t have to worry about what they think of me or those ever so awkward encounters. Since then, I’ve just felt so much more free- it’s funny how the mind can have such a transformation through just one silly thought.
The warmer months have also had a way with my heart, I feel like I’ve been connecting much more with my intuition, specifically through lots of meditation + mindfulness exercises. This year I also lucked out with my therapist, her practice really aligns with the way I want to live my life. She teaches me and incorporates into our work many coping methods through meditation + journaling. I’ve become a lot less worried about other people’s opinions, because for a long time I felt really constricted with the way I thought about certain things, but having at least one person in your life, whether it be a therapist, or a friend, or whomever, just be able to support and encourage those natural and instinctual thoughts can do so much for your confidence. I’ve found myself replacing anxiety with gratitude. Negative thoughts will always arrive in my mind some way but as of late I’ve been able to distance myself from them and to me, that’s got to be one of the most monumental goals I’ve reached so far.
When we emit the good, the good comes. When we cloud our vision with scary and less than thoughts we, in a way, are attracting that. Choose to see the love and you will be greeted by it.
Building this positive energy starts with you. You are the catalyst for very very beautiful things to happen in this life. Just like the butterfly effect, one small change in perspective could bring you and others on an entirely different journey. Beginning with the basics, each morning when I wake up the first thing I’ve trained my mind to do is find something to be thankful for, literally anything. The pillow you’re resting your head on, the cold glass of water next to you, or even just waking up. Instilling this into your everyday routine is going to set you up on a good note. Even if this is the only good thing you think of today, at least it’s happened. Don’t judge yourself in this process, we all take time to change, and grow, and prosper. Celebrate little things :) it’s easy to numb yourself to everyday beautiful occurrences, but they matter and bring the light.
When I’m bringing out the positive into a more physical realm, the first thing I think of is the products I consume. What am I taking in today and what kind of energy is that grown from? Being vegan has brought me to this very important thought and for a while now I’ve been sitting with it. Of course eating a vegan diet isn’t the only way to grow positivity within, it’s a different journey for everyone, but there is something to be said about the morals we align ourselves with on a daily basis. It hurts my heart to fathom eating a meal that has been derived from ripping away the life of another being, consuming those products is pure toxicity to me and cleansing those negative energies from my life has really helped me grow everlasting compassion for the people we walk among this earth with.
Along with food, the energy and environments our everyday items are made in attach to us. If you have the choice to buy fair trade, locally grown, or organic products, by all means please, please do. For so many years, I’ve been completely out of touch and selfish in the ways that I’ve directly supported terrible conditions which my clothes or food has been made in. The process of weeding out products in my life that either aren’t necessary or have been connected to sweatshops has helped me in clearing my guilty conscious. I am constantly reminding myself that as a consumer I have the power of whether I am giving my financial support to a company that treats their employees poorly and takes advantage of them or supports local communities and humanly sources their products.
Dispersing love and compassion is not just about doing a lot of one thing, it’s about finding equilibrium across many different elements. So I hope at the end of the day, you + I can find those ways in which we see the good in others and always choose love.
Wrapping up this blog post under a leo moon and wishing all of us a warm and blissful rest of the summer. Until next time…
All my love,