change of heart.
Inherently, I’m a wildly independent person, but for a very long time I felt so empty and somewhat purposeless because I wasn’t dating someone. Which now, looking back on a time in my life where I had those thoughts, seems really silly. I like to remind myself quite frequently that being in a relationship doesn’t make you any more you, it just simply adds another thing to your life- and don’t get me wrong I love the beauty of relationships and seeing how interconnected we all are in the most pure form but at the same time, I think lately humans have really devalued the pleasure of being alone for a bit. I don’t know if I’m alone in this thought but it seems like with the invention and insane growth of social media and smartphones in general, we have this looming pressure to be someone else’s “goals” or strive to meet a certain quota of what one’s life should look like through the filtered lens of an instagram post.
My independence is a huge part of my identity and when I was using instagram more frequently I felt shitty when I saw that other people were out with their boyfriend or girlfriend and I didn’t even have one. Being in a relationship became more of a priority because I ‘just wanted one’ over the actual reality of having one. It was a hugely false materialistic narrative that had been forced into my mind from all these different outside elements and put so much pressure and shame on myself because I didn’t have a boyfriend.
Today, I happily embrace being single and releasing a lot of the pressure. Because to me, in its purest form, a relationship is a uniquely close bond held with another person, and I wholeheartedly trust that when I’m ready to receive one the universe will make that happen. But until then I’m not going to reduce my identity as a whole to a certain society’s expectations of me.
All my love,