Some Sensitive Thoughts
Perseverance and vulnerability are the biggest lessons I’m learning while walking through a season of scary exciting change. Forever wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Some sensitive thoughts tonight, written on a rainy, dark thursday night spent inside. To be read with grace for yourself + others.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about just how much we absorb from the people around us. I spent last weekend in DC, surrounded by some of the most strong, and powerful youth in America. After the march I found myself walking through the shut down streets of Washington with 800,000 other people. Each person there wanted the best and most important kind of change and seeing that many people congregate for one afternoon like that made me so excited for the future. How could an experience like that not. While I was there, exploring out of town away from my life in VT, that brought me lots of blessings (like WARMTH away from all this snow). But one of them was this unexpected sense of release, almost like something fell off my shoulders and I didn’t even know it was there. After I got home and back into the swing of things at school, I began to realize that I entangle myself in other people’s emotions more than I think I do. I like to think that I can be there emotionally for friends and people I care about without it affecting me, but that’s just not true.
When someone shares something with you, that becomes something you hold as you go back into the world. I knew that conceptually, but didn’t really see it for myself until hearing it from one of my friends recently. Now, I still don’t think it’s a bad thing. I know for a fact that we were never meant to live this life alone, it’s too much, and the world puts us in each other’s lives for this very reason: to carry these things when they get heavy.
I’m of course beyond grateful for the people in my life who help me carry mine, even when I don’t want to let them, and genuinely equally grateful for those gracious enough to let me help carry theirs.
**Notice I’m not using the typical word ‘burden’ here. First, because the heavy things we share aren't always negative, and second, because the act of carrying isn't always a negative thing either**
I think having relationships like this are so immensely important and beyond rewarding. It’s one of the things that makes life that much more meaningful.
My final thoughts for the night:
I would 110% rather live this way of life than alone!! It’s also so, so important to find ways of release. I think writing is the best for me (creating = winning).
It doesn’t matter what it looks like for you, as long as you make the time and space for yourself to do the thing. And lastly, you can’t let fear of giving a friend something else to carry keep you from sharing yourself with them. You ALL deserve to let something hear you, so you are equipped to listen in a healthy way for someone else.