You Are Not Alone
Suicidal people often think that they are going to be taking some darkness away from this world if they end everything, but in reality you are just adding darkness to an already very dark world.
My thoughts mentioned in this post were provoked by the popular netflix series ‘13 Reasons Why’, I’m sure you have watched or have at least heard about it, but in case you haven't: The series follows high school student Hannah Baker's life and the torment and sadness she lived with, that eventually lead to her death by suicide. The series has been said to romanticize suicide, but I believe it is just trying to give a clearer image as to why Hannah did what she did. No matter how you feel on the topic, because I myself have gone back and forth, I believe the story does show an accurate depiction of the brutality and effects of suicide. I hope someday we live in a world where these things never have to happen, and we learn that kindness rises above all.
I want to start off by addressing the alarming rate of suicides that occur each year: in the U.S. alone, 44,193 people die as a result of suicide. That’s 44,193 deaths that could have been stopped, 44,193 families and friends that shouldn’t have to mourn the loss of someone who brought them so much love and light.
I know we have all been in a moment where we want nothing more than for everything to be done. Those moments, or nights where you just want to sleep forever. And for a lot of us, those moments seem to fade, whether it’s within minutes, hours, or a few days. But for millions of people, they are faced with that pain and suffering everyday, so much so that it drives them to either contemplate or attempt to end their own lives.
I have never lost anyone close to me from suicide, and I hope I never will, so my opinions have been formed from my own experiences with strong emotions, and the experiences of others who have educated me on the subject because they themselves have lost people from this tragic action.
I’ve heard a lot of people talk about suicide as a selfish act, and I can’t completely disagree with the statement. The emotions that a suicidal person is having, are in fact very selfish, but it’s because they want to help themselves, and they are so sad that they think the ultimate form is to escape and commit suicide.
At some point in your life, you are going to face dark thoughts, whether you contemplate suicide in a serious nature or you just have a compilation of these low/sad moments. When you come to these points in your life, whether it’s your first time or your 100th time, you can’t just keep resorting to the idea that time will heal things on it’s own, because it won’t. The only moment you will fully begin to heal and take charge of these emotions is when you confront them, dissect them, and make some changes. And if you happen to be going through a moment of darkness right now, know that it’s okay to take baby steps. You don’t need to have a burst of clarity where suddenly everything clicks, your life is perfect again, and you aren’t sad anymore. Sometimes the most healing thing you can do for yourself is making a promise to get out of bed the next morning and continue to live. In just that action alone you are literally contributing so much light into this world than taking yourself away.
Know that if you are hurting so much to the point where you think suicide is an option, that means you have a very large part of your heart filled with sadness and dark thoughts, but that also means you can work towards filling it with love instead.
If you are contemplating suicide, or think you might be depressed, ask for help. Go to a friend, a family member, a teacher, a therapist, me, anyone. I know that it might feel like you are alone in this world and people can’t see the hurt in your eyes when they ask you how you are, but there are people who care about you. I can promise that. Even people who have never said a word to you or an ex boyfriend, they would hurt if you left this world, just like you would if they left. And just to think, there are so many people you haven’t met, so many cities you haven’t traveled to, so many foods you haven’t tried yet. You have a soul mate out there, kids who haven’t been brought into the world yet, and you owe it to them to keep going.
There are so many people in this world who have dedicated their lives to helping other people stay alive. Seek them out, they’re there and they are waiting for you.
Don’t ever feel ashamed for asking for help, I’ve done it, everyone has or will do it sometime in their life. You aren’t meant to go through this journey by yourself, so stop letting it be that way.
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
With all my love,